“I was in a weird place after a messy breakup with a long-term girlfriend when I was about 24. I don’t really know how or why I started, but I began watching and getting off to gay porn. The thing is, outside of watching porn, I don’t find men attractive at all. I have never checked out or noticed another man in a real-life situation, but I can completely fantasize about it if I’m watching gay porn.
“So after a few months of regularly getting off to gay porn I decided to seek out an opportunity to experiment and met with a guy in a parking lot of a local store. We went for a short drive and talked for a few minutes and I started backing out so he took me back to my car. We pulled up beside my car and he gave a last shot at keeping things going and asked if I just wanted to try holding his dick, and I agreed. He took it out and I started giving him a hand job, which lasted about a minute before I just went for it and started blowing him. I blew him for a few minutes in his car and then we decided I’d jump in my car and follow him back to his place just a few minutes away. We got to his house and I got back to sucking his dick on his couch, and he got my shorts off and rubbed my dick some while I blew him.
“After a few minutes he wanted to switch and go down on me, that’s when everything sort of hit. He was really excited to blow me, but I wasn’t the least bit hard and nothing he was doing was making it happen. I was just over it at this point — told him I was sorry but I needed to go, and bailed quickly. I felt bad ditching the guy. He seemed nice enough, but I had my moment of experimentation and realized it wasn’t what I was into.”